Diana: The Tiny-Butted Terror of ButtBrown
“She may have the smallest butt, but her mischief leaves a big mark.”
Meet Diana, the pint-sized brown dog who holds the dubious honor of having the smallest butt in ButtBrown history. Don’t let her petite posterior fool you—this dog is tougher than a two-day-old brownie.
Her greatest achievement, however, is her ongoing domination over her older brother, Steve—a majestic pomsky who is triple her size. Despite his fluffy coat and noble demeanor, Steve lives in constant fear of Diana’s tiny butt wrath. Just last night, Diana stole his favorite squeaky toy, baited him into chasing her, and then ambushed him from under the couch. The result? One thoroughly defeated Steve and one victorious Diana, prancing away with the toy like a pint-sized gladiator.
Steve tried to reclaim his dignity by barking at her, but Diana responded with a single, unimpressed yawn. She then promptly flopped onto Steve’s bed (which she has unofficially claimed as her own) and stretched out with a smug tail wag. Tiny butt, massive victory. That’s our Diana!
Andy: The Smug Bug with a Love for Chickens and Chatter
“Soft, smug, and slightly lighter in the rump.”
If Diana is the tough-as-nails terror of ButtBrown, her older brother Andy is her polar opposite—soft as a cloud, smug as a bug, and rocking a lighter brown butt that’s all the rage in the canine fashion world.
Andy’s pride and joy is his toy chicken. This masterpiece is his constant companion (at least while he is at grandma’s house), his muse, and his nemesis. Whether he’s tossing behind the couch for Grandpa to get or guarding it jealously from Diana’s sneaky advances, Andy’s chicken obsession is the stuff of legends. He’s even been known to fall asleep clutching it, a serene look on his smug little face, as if to say, This is mine, and I am better than you for having it.
Andy’s second favorite activity is barking, though he does it with an air of superiority. As a Pomeranian, his bark has a high-pitched yet surprisingly commanding tone. He doesn’t bark just for fun; no, Andy’s barking is strategic. Spot a squirrel outside? Bark. Did someone forget to fluff his favorite blanket? Bark. Diana gets too close to his chicken? Oh, you better believe there’s a bark.
Mama Dog: The Fluff Queen of ButtBrown
“Soft, speedy, and always ready for snack time.”
Mama Dog is the undisputed matriarch of ButtBrown—a regal Pomeranian who could pass for Andy’s twin, but with an air of wisdom and just a touch more sass. Retired from the chaos of her younger days, Mama Dog now lives the good life, filled with fluffy beds, under-the-bed snoozes, and an unmatched enthusiasm for meal time.
Her favorite pastime? Lounging in her favorite fluffy bed, of course. When she’s not in her bed, she’s under yours, creating her own private hideaway for some uninterrupted beauty sleep.
But don’t let her lazy demeanor fool you—Mama Dog transforms into a lightning-fast blur when food is involved. At the first hint of a microwave slam or the crinkle of a cereal bag, she’s off like a rocket, her tiny legs moving faster than you’d think possible. It’s not just running; it’s a mission.